As I am finally getting on track with all of my TV programs, I find all of my attention focused on Grey’s Anatomy right now. I think it is mainly because I can relate every episode and especially to one character in particular. Ellen Pompeo’s character, Meredith and I have formed a bond more than during this season, than through out all 12 seasons. Let me just say that again folks, 12 fing seasons! That’s a ton! And I am still watching! That’s a miracle! The cast of Grey’s Anatomy have woven their way into all of our hearts and have found a place within our homes, on Thursday night. And the day that I hear, that Shonda Rhimes’ is calling it quits on this 12 year journey, I will officially loose my shit.
… back to Meredith. She is my girl right now, mainly because I admire how strong she has been since everything with McDreamy went down (side note: I cried for 2 days when that happened #hotmess). The underlying theme that is going on with Meredith right now as she finally meets with a therapist (another side note: Meredith, it’s about time girlfriend, you have been messed up since episode 1, season 1) and her therapist calls her out on how she has pretty much mastered the art of being alone. Meredith is continuously trying to push her friends out of her house, telling them that she is OK, when she really just wants to be left alone. She knows no different. It is a life that she has grown up living and being alone, a thing that 99% of us fear the most, is something that Meredith wants more than anything. Alone is normal to Meredith Grey. Alone is a nightmare to the rest of us.
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While being alone scares the shit out me, basically because I have never been alone, being alone has allowed me to focus solely on… well, me. Being alone has been a turning point in my life. And while it may have only been a couple of months, it feels like it has been a lifetime. Maybe that says something about my last relationship? *Hold on people, I am gonna get deep here. I think at some point in our lives, either early on or late in life, we all experience a period in time where we are alone. And let me just clarify. I am not talking about being alone, like having zero friends, no family, no pets, no, not that kind of alone (that’s just pure hell). But alone, where it’s just you, fending for yourself. You have reached a point where you really have no one to blame but yourself and no one to decide your happiness but yourself. You are in the drivers seat. And I can understand how Meredith has mastered the art of being alone. You start making decisions without second guessing yourself, you don’t have anyone to report to in regards to when you will be home or where you are going and you start doing things out of your comfort zone (Table For One). In a sense, being alone makes you grow up. But being alone isn’t something to get comfortable with, and that’s Meredith’s greatest character flaw. Meredith Grey has let herself become that 1% – and while I think that I don’t fear being alone anymore, I know that it will always be something that I will never be comfortable with. The moment that we allow ourselves to become comfortable with being lonely is the moment that we throw in the towel and accept what is, instead of what isn’t xo