Every now and then, I get a little bored with life and try to challenge myself to do something new, or just to do something different. Sometimes, it completely backfires in my face, sometimes I learn something new and other times I just shrug it off and move on to the next new thing. At the beginning of the month (October), my boyfriend made a comment that made me take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Now working near the mall is probably the WORST thing that could ever happen to me. Lunch breaks have become shopping sprees and faces behind the counter are known on a first name basis. Its become a problem. End of story. After a trip to one of my favorite stores, H&M, I returned home with a new winter vest and a couple of other pieces that I thought I needed at the time, but returned later #complusiveshopper (I will blog about that another day). Eager to show off my new purchases to my boyfriend, I quickly wiped out the vest and put it on for him… his response:
“Don’t you already have a vest just like that?” Talk about disappointment mixed with a slap in the face! But him saying that made me think, Do I really already have a vest like this? I think I do gosh darnit!
I mean, come on, that’s when you know it’s bad. I can not even recall if I have a vest like that, however my boyfriend, who is a man, can. And ladies, we all know it’s bad when a man recalls something that you already own and you don’t. There is a problem. I have a problem. So after ripping through my coat closets, yes, I have two… another problem… I found not only a vest extremely similar to the vest I had on, but ALSO a jacket that was IDENTICAL to the vest, just with sleeves and a different color. It was like that “AH-HA” moment that everyone talks about in their life that happens at some point or another, and things just click. Well, they clicked alright and clicked me right into a seatbelt of no spending. I decided at that point, I was going to see how long I could last without buying anything… and by anything I meant anything extra that was not a survival item like food, water, or gas.
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… Needless to say, I lasted a little over a week. And that week felt like seven years. It was painful! Like pull your hair out, miserable. I caved when the Chanel lady at Lord and Taylor offered to do my makeup. I was done for. Wham, shot and killed. I challenged my co workers to follow suit, because you think I am bad, they are even worse! One lasted like 37 hours, the other two days. It was pathetic actually. In this time that I had off from shopping, I only wanted to shop more and when it came to the time that I did purchase something, it was like a high that I felt and satisfaction being met. I actually but myself through more hell, by walking the lunch in my sexy hot pink sneakers during lunch for exercise. Doing this allowed me to get a wiff of the retail and see the latest trends in the window, but it obviously did not fulfill my needs. I still craved the idea of purchasing something… something that I knew, I probably did not need. A purchase that would have an effect on my bank account, but not on my life.
I will say that even though it was a only a week, it did help me to think about my purchases and turn away from my behaviors of a #complusiveshopper. The high carried over into the next day and I found myself at Target buying ridiculous things that I did not need. Those things are now sitting in my car, ready to be returned. Shopping is addictive and that is all there is to it. It is something that women do to pass time and material things are a way for us to fulfill our lives in ways that, actually never really satisfy us. I have started to really think about my purchases before I make them, and find myself getting sick to my stomach when I just walk into any store, especially clothing. It may only be a small change, but that is sometimes all it takes xo