So it comes as no surprise that I have an opinion about pretty anything you can throw at me. The second “surprise”, is that it more than likely do not care what your opinion is, and frankly am not asking you to share it with me. Remember, this is my blog. You clicked on the link, not me. BUT the biggest “surprise” (hoping you have caught on to the sarcasm in my voice by now) is that I can’t stand when someone “asks” for my opinion, only to disagree with everything I just said. I can totally tell when this is going to happen, and I try to mentally contain myself from flipping out at their ignorance, but the writing is always on the wall. You notice them half-heartedly listening to you when you share your opinion and can start to see the gears turning in their mind on how they can rebut. And after many. many arguments that resulted in nothing but high blood sugar and raspy voices, I respond with the simple question,
Well then why did you ask for my opinion?!
I could end this blog post right here and leave this topic at that, but I won’t because I can’t do you that disservice. Plus, I need you to try ask this question next time someone reaches out for advice. The confused and baffled look on their face is priceless and yes, you will probably sound like a snotty brat, but who cares.
We live in a society where we are all like Tarzan, swinging through the jungle, screaming as loud as we can. But can you blame us? Society has made us that way. If you are loud, obnoxious, super extra, or extremely out there, you get noticed. If you are basic, quiet, and polite, you almost get swept under the rug and walked all over. I mean look at Miley Cyrus, Billy Fuccillo, or even that one friend that takes their volume, their mannerisms and even their outfits to that uncomfortable level. Whether you want to admit it or not, they are being noticed. We all know at least one person that fits this category and I am sure you immediately had multiple names flash through your mind when I said the words, “loud” and “obnoxious.” These people exist and these people pop into your mind because their behaviors have made them exist in your memories, connecting their faces to “loud” and “obnoxious.” However, these people in actuality, live such a dangerous life. By striving to be heard and noticed, day in and day out, these people are really doing themselves a disservice. While they may be getting all the attention in that particular moment, they become labeled a person who trots through life with their blinders on and earplugs in. They strive to not only be heard, but also be remembered. They strive to be the ones that do not get lost in the crowd, because it is the crowd itself that they fear.
As humans, we have that natural animal instinct to feel safer when traveling in packs. Whether it be in groups of two, three or even ten, this feeling of comfort surrounds our body like an invisible shield when we enter a party, a meeting, or even throughout life, in a pack. However, there are outliers who feel they have to act in ways and make eccentric gestures to compensate for their lack of a pack. Take a minute and focus on the last four words of my last sentence, “lack of a pack.” What does that statement initially says to you? There is a reason these people don’t have a pack and it’s because no one wants to be with the people that draw attention to their pack. The concept of animal packs stems from the idea of protection and hunting, two activities that require silence. If you break the silence, you break the pack, and ultimately you are left on your own, fending for yourself, by yourself.
And eventually as time moves forward and scenario after scenario happens, these types of people (as I am proof reading this, I am realizing I should have labeled them as something other than “these people”) become rewarded or punished for being obnoxious. But as Momma B always told me, you can’t change a person and they are what they are. They could potentially lose or gain friends, lose or gain a social life, a professional life, and ultimately they do the final disservice to themselves and train their ears and their mind to only listen to themselves.
Now I am not saying that all people who interrupt me are like this, but I think majority of the people fall into this category. It is easier now a days to go triumphantly blazing through the streets humming your own tune and marching to your own beat. And hey, all the power to you! But the moment we decide to become so obvious to what is going on around us. I wrote in a past blog, about the power of silence, and I still stand behind everything I said. It is amazing what I have learned over the years, by keeping my mouth shut and opening up my ears just a little bit more. The idea of truly being present in the moment that someone is speaking to you, rather than already plotting how to rebut everything they have just said. Silence is deadly and knowledge is power, so now imagine if you could combine the two? Think about this the next time you ask someone for their opinion, and maybe you will realize, you shouldn’t be asking them at all xo
